your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
