i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
