So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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