A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
