Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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