Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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