He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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