i can't believe i had my finger in that
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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