Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
