I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
