You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize