Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
