Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
bring money and cleavage
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
