He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
