I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
