I hate all girls vehemently.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
