I accidentally burped into my bong.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
