Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
