In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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