Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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