It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Randomize
