Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
