Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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