I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
