I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
