Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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