At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
