Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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