Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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