My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
