Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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