He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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