Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
