well I can't set my house on fire every night
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
