tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
