You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
