Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
