I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
