i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
