The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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