I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
