pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
