I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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