Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
