his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
