A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
