The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
