drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
