Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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