I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Found the puke drawer
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
