i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
