i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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