doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
