..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
