Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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