you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
