Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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